Hi

Hi mom....today is Saturday January 17th.  Shawn asked me to leave the hospital today instead of tomorrow because of the roads and because we have so much to do.  I'm sorry I made you make that decision.  I didn't want to leave at all but I also didn't want to ask Shawn to make the extra trip up to TC just to get me.  I thought if you really wanted me to stay you'd have asked, and I know you would have.  It's just so hard for me to leave you alone there.  I hate the thought of you being all by yourself and I've felt awful about it all night.  I know a lot of it is that I just really need to sleep, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

 

So I decided to write you an email and I hope I follow through and keep writing emails so you have a bunch of fun stuff to read when you finally get home. 

 

I miss you so much.  It was so scary for all of us when you were so sick.  We didn't know if you were going to make it through those first few nights and munson.  It was torture, but I thank God that you did make it through.  I guess I need to learn to be patient for you to be able to come home and for me to be able to see you whenever the hell I want to. 

 

But I'm scared to death that if I leave something will happen and I'll never see you again.  Everyone tried to get me to leave Munson in December, but I just couldn't.  I'm glad Kenyatta let me stay up there.  I wish things were better at the company right now for me to be able to stay up there again, but that's not a possibility.

 

Anyway....I just needed to share that with you.  I miss you more than you can imagine. 

I am back at the hospital

Mom's having another surgery today.  Not exciting news.  Not fun, either.  I"m stressed out.  I hurt my back.  and EVERYONE is pissing me off.  I feel bad about it, but mom is too.  I'm a horrible person.  I'm tired.  I'm in pain.  I'm grumpy.  I'm stressed out about moving.  OH....

 

Turlach got a new job up north, so he's moving in with the folks in two weeks.  So I'm pretty much fucked.  Don't get me wrong, i'm really glad he got the job and proud of him.  I'm excited for him to move out and I'm even more excited for me to have my own place.  HOWEVER...I don't know if I can get into a place in two weeks.  I'm really freaking out about that.  I halfway have my heart set on one place.  I bet I end up in a fucked up house that I don't want to be in.

 

man....i'm just pissed at the fucking world today.  Time to go read more Bella and Edward. 

So....

I am cold.  It's freezing out.  But i'm not that cold I suppose.  I just want something to whine about.

 

I'm supposed to be writing content for the website, but I can't get my head into it.  I ahve some written, but not nearly enough.

Tell me to take a breath

Because people are pissing me off.  One person in particular.  TANNER.  GO FUCK YOURSELF.  You know how to do these changes and it is YOUR responsibility to do so...quit pushing your fucking work off on me. 

 

I'm just frustrated this afternoon.  I'll get over it pretty darn quick.  I have to. 

 

I was going to walk after work, but I don't really feel like it.  I don't remember why.

 

And I hate when the news idiots tell us there's this big damn storm coming and it never shows up.  I love storms so now I'm really disappointed. 

I am irritated, as usual

Many things are driving me insane today:

 

Amira.  She's just pissing me off, I guess.  She's not even trying to do something before asking me how.  TRY IT FIRST!  it's not like this is the first time I've asked her to do something like this.  It's a bi-weekly thing.  She's not stupid.  I don't know wtf her deal is, but it's pissing me off.  And as usual she's in a bad mood and doesn't feel good.  Save it.  I'm not in a good mood either and my ear feels like it's going to fall off, but I do my work.  I don't whine (outloud).  I get my fucking work done.  Take a cue from me!!

 

Tanner.  She knows how to do what needs to be done.   I know that doesn't make sense.  But she fucking grates on my goddamn nerves.  She needs pages added to the internal website.  She's 100% capable of doing that on her goddamn own.  What the fuck is the deal that she can't do it now?  Fuck you, Tanner.  Do it your fucking self. 

 

life.  you suck right now life.  Get your shit together.

 

Turlach.  He needs to decide what the fuck he's going to do so I can fucking plan accordingly. 

 

WTF...are my hormones not working anymore?  Happy pills not doing it?  I hate feeling so damn pissy all the time.  I irritate myself.  Brennan, you're a fucking bitch today.  Get the fuck over your mood and get to fucking work!  And while you're at it, find something to do at work other than email friends....get the fuck busy.

Monday, bloody Monday

Yes, I know the song is Sunday Bloody Sunday, but it's not Sunday.  It's bloody monday!  I hates Monday's precious.  Well...actually I don't hate them.  I'm just not getting into my job like I should.  I'm going to try harder, though.  I have to. 

 

more later