Today is done

Thank god! What a long day, but it was definitely fun.

The wedding wasn't really all that trashy, which was very disappointing. My prediction of someone crying came true, but it was abite in the ass because it was me. Dad called to say that his sister died. I'm so sad for my dad. He had 4 sisters and a brother. He has only one sister left, and she's a mega bitch. Dad's family so fucked in the head. He got an email from Thatha's kids that she died. WTF? Who the f does that? For real. That's just fucked up. I don't get it. She died yesterday and he found out this eveing. He must be so sad. Thatha was the oldest. She was 21 years older than dad which made her 84. She found out about a month ago that she had colon cancer. I'm glad she didn't suffer. She was a very funny lady.

I do love this blog!

Oh...back to the wedding. Murph brought this girl Freak. And a freak she was. I was with Amara (who I also just met) and Freak, who Amara and I just met, kissed us, said she loved us like we'd known each other for ever. LOL! It was hilarious. Amara's husband didn't know what to say other than she should have used tongue. ha! Freak was such an idiot too. She's a very philosophical drunk - that's the worst kind. Everything she was saying she thought was so deep and profound. Whatever. Luckily they didn't stay long. Actually I'm surprised at how early Turlach and I left the reception! He wasn't nearly as trashed as I thought he'd get either. He was well on his way, but we left before he got there :)

And now I'm off to bed. Tomorrow morning I get up and go north to see Phelan and his boy. Well...Actually I may not see the boy and that's ok, I guess. I miss him but I'll see him later, I'm sure. Turlach refuses to come with me to see Phelan. It really hurts mom's feelings and he doesn't seem to give a shit. I guess his feelings come before his mothers...that's fucked up. What he doesn't see is that he and Phelan have ALOT in common. They're both very self centered, but in different ways. Phelan is very blantant about it. Turlach is so subtle about it that even he doesn't see it. Luckily I'm the brilliant one and the seer. I've always been able to see through people. It's been a blessing and a curse. I've been able to see through people enough to know to not be friends with them, but I'm also a pretty lonely chic because I don't give people enough of a chance.

Anyway whatever! Time for damn bed!

I Am Exhausted

Just got back from the wedding. Not nearly as trashy as I'd hoped, but the reception will tell the rest of that tale, I"m sure. We have a good hour before we have to leave for that. Turlach took video of the wedding. This was a very very unorganized event. I learned a lot though. I should have taken the advice I read on that tip sheet and wrote a shot list. It was a little chaotic and I worry that I didn't get all of the shots they wanted. I know I didn't. I don't think I got a picture of Wil with Dia'sfamily. I don't think I got a picture of Dia with Wil and his parents. But really...they should have had a better idea, too, of what they wanted. Anyway...taking random looks at pictures I'm very happy with what I did!! Extremely happy. It's still not as professional looking as I'd like and I can probably edit some to look so, but they turned out great. I'm thrilled that I didn't need to use raw. I was concerned I'd regret my decision to take pictures in jpg only, but it was a good call. Outside pictures are so much easier as far as non raw settings...at least for me anyway.

I can't wait to look at the pictures of just Wil and Dia. I wish I'd done more. I can do more at the reception, though so that's good. I just finished looking at all of them and they are great! I'm really happy!

I am a wedding photographer

Today is my first official day as a wedding photography. Maybe the only, depends on how it all goes. I'm way nervous. I'm not necessarily unsure of my abilities, but I'm most definitely unsure I have enough memory on my camera to take all of the pictures I want to take. I think I'll end up going to work to get my laptop so I can unload the camera when and if it's necessary. I can't afford to buy a new card today. Sucks, but that's life, I guess. I hate being broke, but that's a whole other post.

The bride and groom have given me absolutely no direction, so I'm kind of on my own with naming the shots. I feel insecure about it too. I shouldn't worry too much because it will be the white trashiest event of the season. I hope I'm wrong on that, but I'm sure I'm not. Anyway...I do worry because I want to do a good job. I want to be able to do this more and more. That'd be a dream, wouldn't it? Being an official wedding photographer? Hell...being any kind of real photographer would be great. I am just an amateur and will probably not be more than that.

I've been looking at wedding websites for at least an hour now. All that is doing is making me feel insecure about my abilities as a photographer. And the shots I love I won't be able to get. There won't be many if any kids. Maybe Beef's kids. Oh...Phil's daughter will be there, so she could be fun to photograph.

I'm also feeling insecure about what I plan to wear. As of right now I"m planning on khaki's and a green shirt, but I'm starting to think I should suck it up and wear a fucking skirt. I hate skirts and more than that I hate wearing big girl shoes. I want to wear comfy shoes. I don't think I'll be underdressed in khaki's and worry I'd be over dressed in a skirt. However, I want to show off my tattoo...so the jury is still out on what I'll wear today.

Anyway...maybe I'll just get off my ass and drive down to work to get the laptop. And what sucks about the laptop is I don't think there's enough memory on that to unload my memory card....shit...I KNOW there's not enough. Fuck. I'll have to work it out, I guess. Maybe I don't really need to shoot in raw. When I shot Christy's wedding it was all in raw, but didn't need to be. The edits I made didn't need the editing capabilities available in raw. Maybe the real important shots will be done in raw, and the rest jpg. Maybe even a lower jpg too, because I don't need the pictures to be 58 inches wide. Hmmm...now that's an idea. Maybe Turlach will be willing to get there a little early and be my guinea pig to see what I'll need to do for lighting, flash and all that stuff.

Oh...one last thing. The bride and groom never told me how to get to their wedding.

Wish me luck!

Long Day

It's not even done.  I need to stay and figure out what crap can get done tonight.  I just don't have time to breathe.  My brother, Turlach, was supposed to have been reimbursed for the tests he recently took and his asshole boss decided to not reimburse him afterall.  That's total bullshit.  Anyway.  As usual, Turlach was depending on that money and now has to borrow from me.  I can't say no because I'm completely incapable of it.  But I'm pissed.  Everyone sees me as a bank.  I don't even have a lot of money to begin with.  Maybe the wedding I'm shooting tomorrow will actually pay something.  I'd at least like an offer to get paid.  I said I'd do it for free and I am willing to do that.  But some token of appreciation would be nice.  I won't hold my breath though. 

 

I was going to wear a dress for it tomorrow but then realized I'd be running all over the place and would hate wearing big girl shoes for the day when I'd much rather wear tennies.  So I'm wearing khaki's and a nice-ish shirt.  Fuck it.  I don't care.  It's going to be the whitetrashiest event of the season!! 

Work

I see Hyr working on something he's going to pass off to me.  I have a project to give to a temp.  I have a bazillion other things to do, but all I can manage to do is write in my blog.  I'll be working very late tonight. 

I Am Sensative

Or am I sensitive?  I don't feel like doing a spell check.  I ran the game for the boss.  One person, Danny, who I thought was a friend got PISSED off at me and won't even look at me.  She wanted me to bend the rules for her.  I wasn't bending them for anyone else, so go fuck yourself.  She said she'd help but didn't show up until a minute or two AFTER THE GAME STARTED!  Whatever.  And I hate that I take it personally.  She makes it personal though.  We just got the evaluation results in and I'm sure that Danny wrote this: "The game was just a game and no one really took it seriously-did you think we would".  Whatever.  Grow the fuck up.  What sucks about me is that I took that personally.  I shouldn't.  It's a comment on the game, not on me.  I have a hard time separating my feelings from work.  I wish I could be better about that.

 

I need to get busy, though.  I have so much to do in the next three weeks. 

First one at work today.

And I'm sure I'll be the last to leave, too.  Today I'm running a monopoly game at a management meeting.  Nice, huh?  So glad I went to school.  I probably shouldn't have worn a sweater - I'm already toasty and I'll be running around sweating like a pig all morning, I'm sure.

 

I have two brothers.  Phelan and Turlach.  I live with Turlach.  He was so incredably happy last night.  He took a bunch of certification exams yesterday and passed ALL of them!  He couldn't stop smiling all night long.  That's a rare sight, too, because he's usually a big ball of stress all the time.  So I was really glad he was so happy.  I wasn't surprised at all that he passed his exams.  He's very smart but doesn't ever give himself enough credit. 

 

Phelan is a whole other Oprah.  He used to be a nice guy.  He was always annoying, but he was a good father, brother and son.  Now...I wish I knew what happened to him to make him such a bitchy queen.  He was always good to his son, Finley.  When Phelan and his long-time boyfriend moved to Seattle, things changed a little.  Then the boyfriend left Phelan and came back to the state I live in, Phelan became a very different guy.  He's spiteful.  He's far from interested in being a father.  He is pissed that he has to pay child support.  This week he's home from Seattle and treating my parents like shit.  My parents are saints, and he's an ungrateful shit.  I plan to tell him off when I see him on Sunday, but that probably isn't my best course of action.  Finley will be there.  He isn't sure he wants to see his dad, but it's going to anyway.  I would bet money that Phelan fucks it up with Finley.  This is his last chance to have a relationship with his son.  He fucks this up, he's done. 

 

Dumbass?

Right here!  I'm the dumbass.  Found my phone.  Turns out it wasn't stolen at all.  Only misplaced.

I have a Masters Degree

And I'm setting up Monopoly games.  Whatever.

I Am Intimidating

Or so I'm told.  My brother's "friends" told him that they don't come to visit because I'm very intimidating.  I speak my mind.  I tell people what I think if they ask me.  And sometimes when they don't ask.  Like his "friends"...they know I think they're dicks and I'll call them dicks.  So I think they're not so much intimidated by me but afraid of the truth.  My motto is "I'll call a dick a dick.  If you're a dick who's afraid of hearing the truth, you'll hate me."  But I'm always polite about it.  For real!  I have been told I have a way of saying things that it sounds really nice and almost a compliment at first.  Then about 5 mintues after I've walked away, they realize they've been insulted. 

 

What made me think about this is two people at work have just said that I AM intimidating.  No I'm not!!  I swear, I'm not.  At my job, I'm the webmaster.  People fuck up the website ALL the time.  That's why there are two versions of the website.  one they can fuck up and I can clean it up and then post it to the real site.  Well, this one girl refuses to ask me to change her page.  She'll go to ANYONE, including the IT department who wants nothing to do with the website, before she comes to me.  Typically if someone tells her to ask me, she says that she doesn't have time and would they please ask me instead.  Whatever.  It's getting to the point that I feel I should show her what intimidation really is, but I can't and won't do that.  But this other person who is my "friend" just said that I am definitely intimidating.  Really...I'm not.  And I don't understand where she gets that from.  I've never even been rude to her. 

 

So now my poor little feelings are hurt.  I'm not really intimidating.  I'm very sensative and easily wounded.  I try to think of other people's feeling before I speak my mind.  And I only really speak my mind in a bad way when I'm not comfortable with the person I'm talking to or they deserve to know they're a dick. 

 

Whatever.  Maybe I'm a walking contradiction.  Mostly I'm just a girl trying to do her damn job!

I Am Searching

I am in search of idea's for newsletter layouts.  Just thought I'd share with my invisable friends.  Invisable friends are as useless as my invisable maid at home.  She doesn't do anything.  Ever!  And we have invisable elves who come in and drink half cans of pop and leaves them in the fridge.  Actually, that elf is named Shawn, but he's gotten in the habit of blaming the invisable elves!

 

I need help. 

Good way to start the day

I am working on a project at work publishing a 35th Anniversary edition of our company newsletter. The owner emailed to let me know what a great job I'm doing. Nice!! It's always nice for him of all people to recognize the hard work I do. I know he does this for many people and I don't think he realizes what a positive impact it makes on employees.

Go me!!

In other news, I will hopefully have a cell phone when I get home tonight. I'm slightly concerned that UPS will require a signature for delivery. That'll piss me off, but it is what it is. I can't change that. So if not tonight, definitely tomorrow night I'll have a cell phone.

This weekend I'm doing my first official wedding photography shoot. I'm a little nervous, but not really that nervous. It's for a friend. What's most interesting about the wedding is that it will likely be the most white-trash event I have ever attended. That reason alone excites me about taking pictures! I don't really mean that in a mean way (the white trash part), but I can't think of another term to describe them all. I predict at least one fight, and one girl running off crying because someone hurt her feelings. I also predict the bride to have a hissie fit at some point, too. The wedding toast is with beer, not champaign. This will definitely be most interesting :)

I Am Depressed

I filled out my new medical forms for this year. To have my surgery covered and pay the least amount possible, it's costing me $50 a damn week. I don't know how I'm going to manage with that much less a week. That's ALOT of money. I hope the boss gives me the raise I need. If not, I'll have to leave. I don't want to. I love my job. No matter how frustrated I get with it, I really do love what I do and I love the company I work for. Maybe while I'm recovering from surgery I can do some freelance work and get that ball rolling. If I could make $300-$500 a month freelance, I'd be good. Hell...I'd LOVE to make enough in freelance a month to cover a car payment or rent. That'd be sweet. I just need to get going with all of that. One more thing to stress about before surgery, I guess.

Are you kidding me?

Now work blocked blogger so I can't log in and change the font of my lovely blog. WTF! Luckily I'm a genious and can email my blog and bitch about it. I don't blame them. I know I should be working. But whatever. It's noon and I could be on my lunch hour. They don't know!

Stupid Sprint

Well, probably stupid me for not keeping track of my cell phone. But I'd much rather blame Sprint - it's more fun. And why couldn't they send my phone to work. I'll go insane waiting a whole day at work knowing my phone is probably sitting on the front porch. Oh!! What if they need a signature? How long will I have to wait then? Great...now I'll probably never ever never get my damn phone back. The only time I ever really want to talk on my phone is when I don't have it. It's frustrating. Like today I want to call Dad, but can't. No phone. Can't call from work, either. And I want to text Jennifer. Can't. No phone. I want to call anyone and everyone only because I can't. Once I have my phone back, I'll be all "No, I don't want to talk on the phone" and life will be normal. Until then, insanity will ensue.

Stolen cell phones and other shady business

My cell phone was stolen yesterday. What's up with that? They didn't take my purse, just the phone. They probably saw there was no damn cash in the purse, so I don't blame them for not taking it. But my precious cell phone! So, distraught as I was, I went straight to my computer when I got home and got online with Sprint Customer Service. They are brilliant I tell you. The conversation went something like this.

Sprint: How can I help you?
Brennan: My cell phone was stolen.
Sprint: Sorry to hear that.
(insert frustrating pause in communication)
Brennan: Well, what can you do to help me? I have insurance on my phone.
Sprint: You need to file a report with our insurance company. Their number is 800.555.5555
Brennan: Um...my cell phone was stolen.
Sprint: Yes, you said that.
Brennan: It was my only phone.
Sprint: Many people have only a cell phone.
Brennan: How the hell do you expect me to call your insurance company? I HAVE NO PHONE.
Sprint: Oh. There is nothing I can do about that. You have to call our insurance agency.

Brilliant!! They are geniouses. So I had to go borrow a phone from a friend so I could call the insurance agency. They were fun, too.

Sprint's Insurance (SI): How can I help you.
Brennan: My phone was stolen.
SI: I'm sorry to hear that.
(insert frustrating and awkward pause)
Brennan: Sprint told me to call you to report it.
SI: Thank you for reporting it.
Brennan: Um...what is the process of getting my phone replaced?
SI: Oh, you want to replace your phone?
Brennan: No...I just wanted to let you know that someone jacked my phone because I love to share my sob stories with strangers. YES...I want you to replace my phone. That's why I had insurance on it.
SI: Well you didn't say you had insurance
Brennan: Why else would Sprint tell me to call you.
SI: Good point. It will be $50 to replace your phone.
Brennan: I thought I had insurance.
SI: You do. There's a $50 fee to use your insurance.
Brennan: How about you take that $50 out of the $240 in fees I've paid over the last two years?
SI: It doesn't work like that. Your insurance only covers the previous, current, and next month. Any other fees were paid in the past.
Brennan: You're a genioius. How about you take the $30 for previous current and next, and I'll give you $20.
SI: It doesn't work like that.
Brennan: Whatever. Give me my damn phone.

So this leads me to my rant, albeit a very short rant, about insurance. Why the hell do we have insurance? I have insurance on that phone to pay $50 to use it? My phone only cost $50. I could have just went and gotten a new phone. But since I love my phone I figured I might as well just do it this way. But all insurance policies are stupid. You pay high fees for medical insurance but still have to pay for office visits. You pay for car insurance. If you get in an accident, you have to pay that huge deductable and then your insurance goes up because you used your policy. What the hell!!

And now my rant is finished and I can get to work.

I Am Brennan

I am a lover of music and chocolate.

I am a chronic complainer.

I am a graphic designer.

I am a web designer.

I Am Brennan.